When my friends are sad, they are replaced by blubbering messes that resemble them. I have wiped their tears one too many times. What’s the reason you might ask? It’s usually just this: a relationship.

Let’s break it down.

re·la·tion·ship (n.) the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

State of being connected…sounds pretty commitment based to me.

Relationships don’t work out when one or both parties are no longer putting forth the effort to make the relationship work. To make the commitment. Yet, no one seems to end it. So, I see people who are just stuck in this stand-still state until one person becomes so miserable that they just can’t deal with it anymore.So they leave. Or, they don’t.

Whenever I see this, I ask myself “Why?” Why would you want to be stuck in a relationship that makes you feel so bad? That constant pit in your stomach can’t be comfortable.

The answer? Who knows? It could be so many things that keep people together even when things are bad. But I believe one reason is quite simply comfort. It takes a lot to open up to someone, I get that, but I think to a certain degree you end up feeling just as exposed when treated unfairly, than if you were to start from scratch with a new admirer.

After watching many people break down and then come through the ashes of a bad relationship as a stronger person, I invite you to consider this advice when searching for your next beau or beauty:

If you want something lasting, and if being a part of a lifelong commitment is what you seek, then be with the person who understands the definition of what a positive and committed relationship is. A relationship that actually makes each person a better version of themselves. Be with the person who understands the significance of an engagement ring or a proposal. What a marriage should really consist of. The importance of family.

Choose the person who will recognize the value of your existence. Choose the person who loves you for your mind. Choose them, even if they don’t exist in your life just yet.

You should be with the person who will love you the same way as they did on your wedding day. Who will continue to understand the definition of what commitment and love and compromise is, decades down the road.

If you can confidently look at your significant other and recognize those qualities within them, *ding ding* you have won your own personal jackpot. If you cannot, I promise you can do better. You can BE better for yourself.

This type of commitment isn’t for everyone, but if that is what you want out of a partner then you have to go for it. Getting stuck in a standstill may lead to you wishing you did more for yourself at that time in your life.  And once you know what you’re looking for…you will find it and more.

 

Choose that person.

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